The Deep Desire of My Heart

I love being a nurse.  I love the unit I work on (although staffing can be absolutely horrendous sometimes). And I love the coworkers and patient population that I work with.

But I always had a desire way deep down in my heart for something else.

I just want to be a mom.  A stay-at-home mom.  A mom who has the time to help her kids with their homework every night and have a fresh loaf of bread baked when they get home from school.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think this is a path for every woman; and there are plenty of woman out there with thriving careers who are out there killing the mom thing.

But that's not what I want for my own life.

While I was growing up, my mom was a stay-at-home mom; and looking back I had a stability in my life that many kids didn't.  I always knew that my mom would be home when I got home from school.  And that there would likely be leftovers in the fridge from the meal she made the night before.  If I needed help with my homework, she was there.  And I always had a ride I could depend on whether it was for volleyball, knowledge bowl, gymnastics, or softball.

One big road block to continuing on my current career path once I have kids is that I like working nights and have no plans to ever live that day-shift nurse life, unless its clinic work.  I have multiple reasons for this.  I am very much a night owl, although I love being up early.  Also, night shift just has a different culture, things are a bit slower and you get to know your coworkers better.  Night shifters also have the best personalities 😜

Working nights would obviously make accomplishing many of my life goals much harder, although I do have many coworker's who work straight nights and have families.

So right now I'm planning.

Yes, from the outside that sounds kind of weird, especially in 2020.  But I know that much of the reason that many people feel that they can't stay home even if they want to is because of finances.  So I'm kicking my debt in the butt and cleaning it up hopefully before the end of 2020!  I want to lay the plans for a sound financial future while I'm young so that my dreams will actually be attainable and I won't be putting a burden on my future family.

So wish me luck and check back for updates!